I'm guessing you said yes?

Well, for those who haven't heard yet (because I will admit, I am a bit obsessed about it and keep talking about it non-stop), I am newly engaged :) So thus, this post is done at the request of my dear friends who haven't heard the story yet. 

Preface this, for those who do not know, the story of the two of us.  We went to school together, and were best friends from middle school on.  Oddly, we never dated, which is quite amusing because everyone else knew we should have, we just didn't quite catch on to that.  Admittedly, I adored him yet never told him.  I found out almost 2 years ago that he felt the same.  After a few "OMG how did we not mention this years ago?" conversations, and some other life events that led us to where we were in a position to date, we decided to give it a go.

We took a vacation to see a dear friend of ours from high school.  She was the first person I shared our dating news with, as she was one of the people who would really "get" how big of a deal it was for us to be together.  She was thrilled, and also reminded us that we should have done it long before now.  She lives out of state, so we decided to take the little guy and head down her way to visit with her and her family.  At the end of the week, she and I were sadly packing my stuff in the car to leave.  When we came in from outside, my guy asked if he could talk to us.

Clearly, that struck me as odd.  Usually, when something like this happens to me, either A...something bad has happened or B...I'm in a lot of trouble.  I don't like being in trouble, and I am not often in trouble with him, so my first though was something bad had happened.  Especially given the look on his face...see???

So I walked over and gave him a hug.  Weird...he didn't let go.  And his heart was pounding.  Oh no...this can't be good.  I wonder what happened.  As we are standing there, he started talking about how we had known each other for 20 years, and how we had come full circle, we were in our old HS friend's house for vacation.  That kind of thing.  What that had to do with anything bad, I wasn't sure.  But I was bracing for the worst.  "We've come full circle so its only appropriate that I tell you I've decided to join the circus and won't be taking you with me."  I dunno, something weird, for sure, had to be happening. 

So then he says the sweetest thing I have ever heard.  "Ever since I met you, I've always called you my princess.  Well, now I think its time that I make you my queen."  Something clicks....he reaches in his pocket...and I think I squealed like a little girl.  I'm not sure...I was so utterly shocked, I could have done or said just about anything.  Although, with my hand slapped over my mouth, I probably wasn't saying much of anything.

He popped open the box, to show the most amazing ring I had ever seen.  Got down on one knee (see, I think he read JT's blog) and asked me to marry him. 

It definitely deserved a kiss.  I couldn't just let him stay down there on his knee all alone ;)

(notice...the ring is still not on my finger)  I am blubbering like a crazy woman (no comments from the peanut gallery about my legendary crying ability, either).

He finally says two of the funniest things. 1. "I'm guessing you said yes?" and 2. "Can I put this on your finger, please?"  I think he was sick of hearing me bawl in his ear and say "We should have done this 20 years ago." ;)

I realized, shortly after he put the ring on, that someone had been snapping pictures and that we really weren't the only ones on the planet at that moment, although it had seemed as if everyone else disappeared :) So, I turned around and grabbed my girl, who, btw, was crying equally as much as I was.  She knew how much this meant to me.  I adore that girl.

Her amazing hubby, had been tipped off by my guy, that he was going to propose right then.  He ran, grabbed the camera, and thanks to him we have amazing pictures to show off.  He is the best :)

(Here is where I say...we were in our jammies...I had woken up not too much before this.  I really could have used some makeup and non-jammie clothes, and I would have if I had known a camera was going to be anywhere in the vicinity)

We had to grab our technology to start the calling/texting process to spread the word. 

I couldn't stop kissing him ;)

I called my girls to tell them the news.

And then we commenced to texting all of our family and friends to let them know the news as well.

And ... my sweetie's favorite pic, I am quite sure....

They added the picture to the end of the disc.  They said I cried so much that poor children had to run from the tears.  They are so mean to me ;)

Movin' and Shakin'

So the East Coast had a pretty impressive earthquake, by our standards, just a few days ago.  The epicenter of that quake happened just a short drive away from where I live.  Needless to say, that 5.8 was pretty darn scary in these parts.  My little man was taking a nap when it happened, and I am sure having his mom yank him up out of a deep sleep (after a rather comical attempt at running down the hallway to get to him in the midst of a shaking house) was a bit of a rude awakening.  My other kids were in school, and it was pretty scary for them as well.  None of us have really been through an earthquake, at least nothing of this magnitude.  Luckily for all of us, other than some pictures and other trinkets down, and a good bit of emotional wear and tear, we are all very well.  We find ourselves to be fortunate, because sadly some friends of ours were not as lucky.  Some have homes that are unable to be lived in, and some have lost some very precious items in the quake.  Also, sadly, we continue to have some pretty significant aftershocks ranging from a mere 2.2 up to the most recent 4.5 at 1:10 this morning.  It is quite unnerving to say the least. 

So, here on the East Coast this is quite a rare occurrence, especially the size of a 5.8.  I realize that on the West Coast, this seems like quite a small deal.  Over there, I am sure that a 5.8 is just a drop in the bucket compared to some of the quakes that they have seen.

Here is my frustration.  Even though this quake was felt from as far south as Atlanta and as far north as Boston, and I am sure even further, people have taken to making quite a bit of fun of the situation.  Pictures showing the "devastation" of the earthquake to include post it notes on the ground, chairs knocked over, a pen on the floor, and the like.  Even The Today Show took a chance to make light of the situation.  The Today Show

Now you have to know that I am one to be able to take a joke.  I like to think I have quite an active sense of humor.  But these kinds of things, I find in very poor taste.  Not because I have some big devastation story to share, or there were multiple deaths or buildings reduced to rubble for a 5 mile radius.  But because this is a very real, and very scary situation for those of us who experienced it.  Each person has their own story to tell.  We have a local school that is closed due to the amount of damage as a result of the earthquake.  Kids who don't know when they will start school, people who don't know how long it will take to fix the damage in their homes, children who are now scared and startled by every sound they hear that mimics that of the earthquake.

Sure, it wasn't the devastation that Japan has encountered.  But the fear remains the same.  Making light of it, just really pisses me off to be honest.  Parents sitting in their homes experiencing an earthquake only to become frantic afterward because they couldn't get a hold of the schools where their children were.  Are they safe? Are they scared? Did the school even know how to handle evacuating the children to safety? Was anyone hurt? How can I get to them? We had no cell phone service because the lines were so blocked with individuals trying desperately to get a hold of their loved ones to find out if they were safe. Friends frantic to get a hold of their besties to make sure all was well.

To me, none of that is anything to make jokes over.  It was and still is very real, and at times very terrifying.  There is ALWAYS someone in a worse situation than you.  That doesn't mean that your struggles are any less because they aren't as tragic as someone else's struggle.

So I want to send a big shout out to my dear friends who called to make sure my family and I were safe.  My friends who texted one another to see if they had spoken to us to make sure we were okay.  My dear friend who called the school for me to try to check on my kids because I couldn't get a call out.  I also want to thank my amazing friends who live on the West Coast and have not once asked me to suck it up and be glad it wasn't worse.  Your kindness and compassion is much appreciated and humbling.

And to those of you who are posting on links and saying that we are all just too sensitive and need to get over ourselves.  Kiss my ass. I'm just keeping it real here.  I really wanted to be a lot meaner ;)

KW

Ring a Ding Ding

This “blog” is more of a poll, I just wanted to say more than a poll would allow (imagine that!)

The time finally comes to make things “official”. And what’s most important? That you love each other, right… ok yea that’s a plus but I’m talking about a ‘girl’s best friend’ here…. A Diamond ring!! Every girl’s dream is to be proposed to in the most romantic way possible, but most times you only see that in the movies L Yet, whether you jump on stage at your favorite concert and pronounce your undying love or you’re sitting on the couch in your house & say “oh yea, ya wanna get hitched?” the question is this, does the guy go out on a limb & pick the ring or do you shop together?

Ladies, would you prefer your man to ask you to go shopping & ruin the whole element of surprise? Or would you rather not have a clue & be happy with whatever you get. Come on, I know there are some divas out there that need to stand up & say “oh hell no he ain’t pickin’ it by himself!” I mean, this is something that will be on your finger forever, or at least until it’s upgraded ;-)

Men, would you prefer your woman to tell you EXACTLY what it is she wants? Not just the cut, but basically all but walk out of the store with it on her finger? Men get nervous about this step in life, whether they know she’ll say yes or not, it’s a huge step & you want that girl to be smitten & gloating for days about the “rock” you gave her.

My opinion?? So glad you asked. I’m all for the element of surprise!! I love surprises & who doesn’t?!? Too many things in life need to be planned & this (usually) only happens once in your lifetime so I want it to be as memorable as possible. I don’t need to have my “dream ring”, there’s time for upgrading down the road ;-) I want something that was picked over by my significant, meaning THEY put thought into it. They shopped around by themselves, looked at many styles & maybe even asked the sales clerk to try it on just so they could get a visual. Let them inquire & find out diamonds aren’t just round. They’re Marquis, Square, Princess & even Teardrop shaped. So let ‘em sweat a little & go with their heart to choose that diamond they think expresses their love & will compliment you.

I know there are true romantics out there & I would LOVE to hear about your special moment. Needless to say, I’ve been lucky enough to have been proposed to not only twice but by a man, and also by a woman. Now this is NOT a bust on men, I have faith in many of you, but for me, the experience was two different ends of the spectrum. No details will be given (mainly because there aren’t any) about how my ex husband proposed, but when it comes to “fairytale” proposals, Kelly won hands down! But what I will say is this, WHEN the time comes, do it from the heart. Tell her why you want to spend the rest of your life with her & how much she means to you. That is what wins the girl over, not the ring, I promise ;-)

NOTES:

~ I may be old fashioned, but no matter how you go about choosing the ring, get on bended knee when you ask, it's just that "heart stopping" moment that will make it special no matter where the proposal takes place.

~I’m all for women proposing to men too!! So this advise goes both ways!

Duplicity?

Sadly, I have many events in my life that have made me question the validity of "organized religion."  I do not say this to start a debate on whether there is a God, or if he created the Heavens and the Earth.  I definitely will leave that to each individual person to decide.  What I find troublesome is the hypocrisy that you may run across with the institution of the church and those who tend to function within it. 

This all stems, I am sure, from a fairly...ok why sugar coat...a flat out nasty, disheartening, and ugly experience with a church that I was a very active member in.  That went down so poorly, that I realize that this may completely cloud my judgment of the institution of the church.  But here are a few examples that lead me to believe that my decision to stay away from it is a fairly wise choice.  Realize...I am not downing the beliefs of the church, or its validity in existence...I am completely confused with the individuals who linger within.  You will, hopefully, see my point. hypocrisy

A man who is a control freak, emotionally abusive to his children, and unwilling to take responsibility for his past "indiscretions" in his prior marriages and other various blame shifting to avoid responsibility....standing up and teaching bible study, studying to be a someday paid minister, and being recognized as a leader in a church.

A man who is living with a woman, has been proven to be abusive to his ex-wife and his children, who makes no attempt to work, and better yet even files for mental disability in an effort to continue to be unemployed, and makes an almost daily ritual of getting drunk to the point of passing out...being given, on a regular basis, the weekly offerings donated to a church by its members. 

A member of a church board verbally "bitch slapping" a disabled person who is a tenant of the house they rent from the church and telling them they have to kill their dog or move out in three days.

A woman who is so wrapped up in herself and her own wants that she blatantly disregards the wishes of her own son (who is so obviously desperate and miserable living with her) and uses God as her crutch for her own piss poor behavior.

Now let me make this clear...I have no issues with drinking, having a great time, cursing, living with a person prior to marriage, and all of the other things that some would call "sinful" in nature.  Who am I to judge someone's lifestyle and determine if it is "too sinful?"  My issue lies with the fact that if you put yourself on display, take a position of leadership, or present yourself as someone of great moral character to a point of "I am holier than thou, you are but a sinner," along with that comes great responsibility.  If you are going to stand on the basis of "I attend church every Sunday" or "I am going into the ministry" or "God never makes mistakes" I believe you have to have some sort of common sense if not decency about your behavior.  And yes, I will hear the ever present argument of "A church is a place made up of imperfect people, so it will not be perfect."  With that I do agree.  But if you stand as an active member, demanding respect and credit for being so, I believe that you need to go about your business in a different way than your typical person walking around on this planet.  You put yourself in the shoes of a minister, you need to behave as such.  You say God is in control of your life and never makes mistakes, well you have a certain responsibility there as well.  If you are going to act as a member of a board of a church, you can't go around being a bully.

Look we all want to be good people. We all want to make a difference.  I know I do.  But I won't stand on a premise and demand respect because of it.  I will stand and be strong in who I am as a person, believing what I believe, and not cramming that down someone's throat as a badge of "You have to respect me because God says you do."  I will respect a good, kind, decent person....flaws and all....and I will love you for it.  But what I won't respect or love is a person who makes excuses for their piss poor behavior and takes no responsibility.  And when they do that standing on the premise of WWJD...it kinda gives a big screw you to Jesus himself.  I am not sure I want to be on the receiving end of that smack down.

Tattoo or Not to Tattoo

For those that have tattoos, let me ask this. Do you have that one tattoo that you regret? Maybe you were young & it's just meaningless now? Did you put your ex's name on your body? How about your name on your body so when you're drunk the police can identify you? I can answer yes, unfortunately. Not to ALL of the above, but yes I have a tattoo that I regret. One, because it's so "typical" - ya know the rose/heart thing, ugh. Two, because yes I was young(18) & naive & got my ex's initials tattooed on my ankle. Luckily it's nothing obnoxious that I can't have covered up (which is in the works) So don't feel bad, many of us have ink that we wish was erasable. This topic came to me when I saw celebrity tattoos as a headline in my email. The following are pictures of a few that I just couldn't resist sharing my thoughts on..................

#1 Steve-O - granted, we're all aware that he's a 'jackass', but a self portrait? Is this so if he's "getting it from behind" they can still remember what he looks like?! Creepy.






#2 - Asia Argento - "here's looking at you"... really? Is this what mom meant when she said she had eyes in the back of her.... uh back? I've heard about a 3rd eye but aren't they usually brown?









#3 - Jenna Jameson - She has the quote "I'm not afraid, I'm born to do this". Is that so... hmm I bet that makes mama proud to know that her daughter feels she was brought into this world to be a porn star. So heartwarming, isn't it?






#4 - Hayden Panettiere - A beautiful girl should have a beautiful saying tattooed on her body, such as the Italian quote "Vivere senza rimipianti" which means "to live without regrets". Unfortunately the tattoo itself is a regret due to the fact that the spelling is incorrect.









#5 - Miley Cyrus - This equal sign is Miley's effort to show support of gay marriage. Kudos to Miley but really, could you be a bit more supportive than taking a pen & inking 2 lines on your finger? Now that we know Miley supports gay marriage, sheesh it'll be legal worldwide by next week! Show support by protesting, rallying, writing your congressman, donate your millions to gay charities.... but uh thanks for the effort, I guess.




#6 - Eva Longoria - Tattoo? what tattoo? what were we talking about, sorry I got distracted by Eva's "tit-twos"







In a nutshell, isn't it reassuring to know that celebs are just as careless with tattoos as us "average" folk, we all make mistakes, just be careful on how permanent those mistakes may be!